Be Here Now: Let yesterday be your last day of regret

Want to know what scares me more than spiders, heights and drowning? REGRET. I have a passionate disdain for the word regret. Regrets are like assholes. Everyone’s got at least one but they’re behind you for a reason. We've all done something or someone we wish we could forget. I don’t plan on dwelling on the topic of regret too long but in this brief address I want to make this one thing very clear. WE ALL HAVE REGRETS! I don’t trust anyone who claims to not have regrets. They are like the person who says they don’t care what anyone thinks. Okaaaaay. You may not care what EVERYONE thinks but we all care what SOMEONE thinks. The same way you may not have a past FULL of regrets like some but we all have that one moment or decision we wish we take back. The point is not to dwell on what you cannot change. Take refuge in the fact you’re still here and can still able to do something now. What was the opportunity? Are you sure it is completely lost. Sometimes the windows of opportunity we think have closed, haven’t. They have simply been made smaller because of outside interference. People telling you, you’re too old to pursue something or you telling yourself you’ve lost the passion, drive or support to make it happen. I believe everyone is on earth long enough to accomplish their purpose if they are willing. So if you have breath in your body you still have the opportunity to pursue your purpose. However, if for some unforeseen cause you cannot go back and right that wrong, it’s okay. No! Listen to me. I’m serious. It is okay. You are going to be okay. We have all lost something unrecoverable, whether it was a trinket, a lost love, a piece of art, doesn’t matter. What matters is coming to grips with the fact; life incurs loss. If you peer deep enough through any looking glass you will find a silver lining. Regret can come from not understanding how damaging a certain thing was at the time it was taken or lost to you. Sitting here today, in front of my computer, I stare at the screen and ask myself, do I have any astounding regrets. I can say I feel one still looming in the background. I am actively doing what I can to come to the reality that what was, no longer is. As much as I want to kick and scream and roll around and cry, what good will come from it? How will becoming saddled by a past I can’t revisit make today any better. The choices I can’t unmake, I accept as lessons for the present. The chaos and guilt that comes with regret is life threatening and dream killing. I get it. It took me a couple decades, but I get it. This life is too unpredictable to assume every roll of the dice is going to be a winner. Like with any gamble there is risk. Risk in being right and risk in being wrong. Whatever you lose in the moment go after it ten times harder for the come back. I view it like this. If I lose something, it’s making room for the upgrade. A loss is a simple clearing out of space to bring you the bigger and the better. To me this translates across the board. You lost the love of your life; know there is a greater love waiting patiently for you to get over the past. The most toxic aspect of regrets is it’s ability to create future regrets. When you get caught in a chain of regret it looks like this: REGRET>-GUILT>-SELF-DOUBT>-DECISION>-REGRET Regrets effect your present and future as much as they do your past. A decision you made in the past causes regret, guilt and self doubt. This makes it harder to trust your instincts in present and future decision making. You then make a poor choice out of fear and guilt and…oh would you look at that! Another regret emerges on the horizon. Learn to let go, if not for your current self do it for your future self. Make your life enjoyable. PRACTICE COMMITMENT TO THE MOMENT AND CONTENTMENT OF THE PAST. You have to leave the past where it belongs...behind you. Don't beat yourself up for getting over something or someone. When you detach from a situation, especially a toxic one, it births freedom and independence. It also allows you to experience life with a refreshed perspective. Regrets can lead to a jaded and bitter attitude. Your present starts to pay for the crimes of your past. I know that sounds hella familiar when it comes to relationships. We've all been on the receiving and dishing end being held hostage by a past lovers mistakes. Stop it! It is not fair to them and it is not fair to you. Okay, I'll jump down off my soapbox now. I'll leave you with this. In Buddhism they practice living in the present. Forget Yesterday. Forget tomorrow. Your challenge for today…BE HERE NOW! If you have managed to live a regret free life please feel free to comment below. I am always excited to find new ways of preventing and healing from regret. Alright Weirdies. Drop a line, until next time.

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