"What the bleep does Antisociable Mean?"

Nikki Williams
Sep 24, 2016
3 min read

I know some of you read the title of my blog and mistook it for antisocial. Then there were some of you who read the blog title and just assumed I was slightly illiterate. Yet there were still a few who read it and were just like..."well what the hell does that mean?" I can assure you all it is neither a typo nor confirmation of my illiteracy. Antisociable is how I would define myself if I believed in labels. Here's the thing, I like people. My family is full of them. I have a couple of friends who I consider people. Is it such a crime 95% of the time I would just rather hang out with myself? Most people would probably consider me agoraphobic. I can assure you being in crowds and public places doesn't cause me anxiety. I won't freak out if I find myself at a concert surrounded by thousands of screaming fanatics. As a matter of fact, anyone who knows me knows I'm a freaking social butterfly. In any social environment I can connect with everyone around me. People love me and I love people. However I prefer my alone time. My best friend's husband lovingly gave me the nickname of croissant because he says I'm the flakiest person he knows. I get into moods when I want to go out and chill with an entourage. More often than not I like being in my house, curled up on the couch with a good book or binge watching Netflix. There was a time when I would have apologized for preferring to be by myself. Often my friends and family think if I turn down their offer to chill it means I am rejecting them. I've tried explaining I am not rejecting them I am just rejecting the notion of foregoing my peaceful solitude at the moment. I'm like Superman. My FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE is where I go to recover and find peace. Sometimes the energy it takes to be around people is too exhausting to even consider as an option. It would be different if I was a wall flower. But when I go out, I GO OUT! I'm the funny one, the loud one and more often than not the crazy one who gets us in trouble. Once I get done entertaining everyone around me I have no energy left to cater to myself and the things I want to do for me. Energy is a big thing for me. I believe people can transfer their negativity or positivity to you. Even if you deflect you still have to expend energy trying not to be effected by whatever is effecting them. Most of my close friends and family understand this about me now. Trying to introduce new people to me so called Antisociable nature without turning them off is where things get sticky. I had to learn be selective of the people and energies I allow around me. No need to get offended if we make plans and I flake on you at the last minute. I promise it's not a diss, although it is inconsiderate. I'm working on learning to flake in a more timely manner. More often than not it's not even about you as much as the venue. Grab a six pack and a pizza and come over and stop being so sensitive. How many of you can relate? How many of you can't relate and just think I'm using this as an excuse to be a bad friend? Let me know what you think Weirdies!!